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mental health relationship

HOW TO GET OVER AN EX

So, you have finally pulled yourself apart from that toxic person in your life – or maybe things just weren’t meant to be, or perhaps both? Well, the rules are very similar when it comes to getting over an ex that you aren’t meant to be with and have both agreed to move on, and a toxic ex that you should avoid at all costs because they will make your life hell.

So the first thing that you need to do might be one of the most painful – the pictures. You gotta take them off your phone, and I am not saying you have to delete them all! Just import them to your computer and save them as memories, because it’s true – they are! But, having such easy contact with these photos are nothing but a bad idea. Looking at memories of when times were good and things weren’t messy often clouds our better judgement.

Second, if you find yourself having a difficult time resisting the urge to text them – it’s time to block. Don’t overthink it, you are doing this for yourself and your sanity.

My third tip would be to try and surround yourself with friends and continuously fill your schedule up so that you aren’t alone- at least for the first few weeks or so. I found that I felt great until I got home and went into my room where I truly felt alone with my own thoughts. Try to facetime friends and family, pick up a hobby, work work work! Anything to get your mind off of it.

Fourth tip, FIND YOURSELF. This is the time to really focus in on YOU. Who are you? Do you have hobbies? Do you like things that weren’t because of your partner? What are your morals? Do you have goals? It’s time to work on yourself and focus on bettering yourself and accomplishing your goals. Pick a goal and really put in the effort to accomplish it. Journal your thoughts and try to get to know yourself as best as you can. You are so important, when is a better time to get to know who you truly are than now?

My final tip would be to move on. Yep, easier said than done. Well, I don’t mean get into another relationship (please don’t do this) but don’t be afraid to put yourself out there and have some fun. It’s another way to distract yourself, while also having fun and meeting new people. Ever heard the phrase “get over by getting under”? It’s a phrase for a reason, I’m just saying.

Don’t be afraid to really confide in your friends and family, but get yourself out of that rut as fast as you can. You will be okay, this too shall pass.

*Header image is by @janina_73 via picsart

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A Letter to my Mom

Dear mom,

I can’t thank you enough for the roof over my head, the food in my belly, the clean clothes, the toys, the hugs, the kisses and the laughter. You have given your all being my mom. Through every obstacle and challenge, you always seem to push through and you have shown me what determination means. You have shown me what strength is. I couldn’t name a more genuine, kind hearted, selfless and strong woman than you. I hope one day, when I have little ones, that I will be at least half of the mom you are to me.

Mom, I love that we have so much in common. I love playing games with you, watching our favourite tv shows and gossiping about the latest news. Even though I am grown, I am still your little girl and I will always be a mamas girl, especially with an amazing one like you.

From teaching me to walk to teaching me to drive, you have kept your patience (and obviously lost it sometimes too hehe) but you have always encouraged me to keep on trying. I keep your encouragement with me every single day.

When I have a hard day, or feel so anxious I can’t stand it. I know who I can call. I know that you will always be there, to comfort and to make me laugh. Through the breakups and the bullies, you have always tried your hardest to protect me. You never fail to remind me that I am beautiful and stronger than the words others say. You have always been the mama bear everyone wishes they had.

Mom, you are my best friend and I am so incredibly thankful for you. I love you with all my heart.

Happy mother’s day.

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A Letter To Me

Dear me,

I am sorry for putting you through stress and anxiety. I am sorry for the shaking and the tears. I did not know that you were strong enough. I didn’t have faith that you could do better than this. I trained your brain to believe this was love, to hold onto it so tightly your knuckles ached. Nobody else could love you. I let you become so small, fragile and weak. Unsure of your own opinions and own thoughts, constantly over thinking your own values and who you were until you became so lost. I allowed you to be brainwashed with “I’m sorry” and “You make me act like this” and “I love you”. I allowed the cruel words to be spit at you, I allowed you to break. But that’s what I had to do, these things are what helped you grow. You grew and became strong, you realized your worth and you left, because you ARE worthy of love and kindness. I am sorry that it took you so long to come to terms with it, but you found it on your own. The tears are dry now, you are okay. I will never allow a man to step on you again, to spit at you, to yell and scream. You are not small.

I have learned to love you, even on bad days. The mirror is your friend, you are wonderful and happy and full of life now. Keep it. Hold onto this. This is love, self-love.

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For the love of Valentines…

Now, I am writing this as a happily taken girl, so there will be a *little* bit of bias here and there.

To start the conversation, why is Valentines a holiday? Well, this day is known for its romance and celebrating a couples love through gifts, dates, flowers etc. to name a few. But in reality, Valentine’s day and where it came from is actually quite morbid. It’s history revolves around Christianity and Lupercalia which is an ancient Roman fertility festival (what?!) that is held from February 13th to the 15th which is said to be the reason why Valentine’s day is the 14th. What happened was that each teenage boy would draw a name of a girl to be paired with for that year and the women were obligated to be with that boy under the Roman law. These relationships often led to marriage. Other stories are much more disturbing and the Romans would sacrifice a dog and a goat for purification and fertility. Then, the women were said to have been slapped with goat hide as it was believed to make them more fertile (hence the Lupercalia) thus leading into the name drawing and marriage.

Aren’t we glad to be living in the grand year of 2020 where women (in most countries) are now free to make their choices of whom to marry and when?!

Personally, Valentine’s day is seen as a joke to many but I still love the day and commercialization that society has put into it. I am a sucker for a sappy card and flowers…dinner date nights??? Count me in.

Sincerely,

Your Valentine 💘