Categories
mental health relationship

HOW TO GET OVER AN EX

So, you have finally pulled yourself apart from that toxic person in your life – or maybe things just weren’t meant to be, or perhaps both? Well, the rules are very similar when it comes to getting over an ex that you aren’t meant to be with and have both agreed to move on, and a toxic ex that you should avoid at all costs because they will make your life hell.

So the first thing that you need to do might be one of the most painful – the pictures. You gotta take them off your phone, and I am not saying you have to delete them all! Just import them to your computer and save them as memories, because it’s true – they are! But, having such easy contact with these photos are nothing but a bad idea. Looking at memories of when times were good and things weren’t messy often clouds our better judgement.

Second, if you find yourself having a difficult time resisting the urge to text them – it’s time to block. Don’t overthink it, you are doing this for yourself and your sanity.

My third tip would be to try and surround yourself with friends and continuously fill your schedule up so that you aren’t alone- at least for the first few weeks or so. I found that I felt great until I got home and went into my room where I truly felt alone with my own thoughts. Try to facetime friends and family, pick up a hobby, work work work! Anything to get your mind off of it.

Fourth tip, FIND YOURSELF. This is the time to really focus in on YOU. Who are you? Do you have hobbies? Do you like things that weren’t because of your partner? What are your morals? Do you have goals? It’s time to work on yourself and focus on bettering yourself and accomplishing your goals. Pick a goal and really put in the effort to accomplish it. Journal your thoughts and try to get to know yourself as best as you can. You are so important, when is a better time to get to know who you truly are than now?

My final tip would be to move on. Yep, easier said than done. Well, I don’t mean get into another relationship (please don’t do this) but don’t be afraid to put yourself out there and have some fun. It’s another way to distract yourself, while also having fun and meeting new people. Ever heard the phrase “get over by getting under”? It’s a phrase for a reason, I’m just saying.

Don’t be afraid to really confide in your friends and family, but get yourself out of that rut as fast as you can. You will be okay, this too shall pass.

*Header image is by @janina_73 via picsart

Categories
feminism

Be a Lady

Be a lady, they said. Women are set to standards that aren’t reachable. We are taught from such a young age to watch what we wear, what we say, what we do. We are taught gender norms such that we must be in specific professions to obtain success, and even if those weren’t shoved down our throats – the norm forced it anyways. As women, we need to be very particular and careful about everything from clothes, to hair, to lips, to coverage etc. Making careful considerations about what kind of outfit to wear, because we want to look sexy but not slutty, cute but not prudish. The money that we spend is not for men, but in actuality to impress or just in fact survive in the female world. It is only getting worse, we have learned that if we do not like who we are then we can change ourselves. We can get filler, we can use machines to tone our bodies, spray tans to change our complexion, lashes, hair, implants – you name it. And it is not the men’s fault for this outrageous phenomenon. It is ours. We are the ones that are judging, creating these norms.

An undeniably powerful video called “Be a Lady, They Said” was created by an account on instagram (@girls.girls.girls.magazine) that starred Cynthia Nixon who is an American actress best known for her role in Sex and the City. “Don’t be too fat, don’t be too thin. Eat up, slim down. Stop eating so much. Order a salad, don’t eat carbs. God, you look like a skeleton!” Nixon says in the video, which hit home for many. But another thing that was talked about was the fact that we must hide ourselves from the men, in fear that they will hurt us. The world we live in has become so scary and the fact that we are teaching our daughters to protect themselves and to dress as conservative as possible to prevent harm – of course the argument has been going both ways for years. The empowering video has been shared by thousands of users on the site. As the day went on, top celebrities such as Madonna and Cara Delevingne began to share and talk about it which attracted more and more views. It is such a wholesome action to share something so powerful across a platform in which you can truly make a difference.

To watch the video on Instagram, click this link. I am not affiliated with the account or Instagram.

Society norms are that women are set to such a standard that is simply unachievable. Whatever you do, you will be judged for it – so do whatever the hell you want. Don’t apologize for being yourself.