Categories
mental health relationship

HOW TO GET OVER AN EX

So, you have finally pulled yourself apart from that toxic person in your life – or maybe things just weren’t meant to be, or perhaps both? Well, the rules are very similar when it comes to getting over an ex that you aren’t meant to be with and have both agreed to move on, and a toxic ex that you should avoid at all costs because they will make your life hell.

So the first thing that you need to do might be one of the most painful – the pictures. You gotta take them off your phone, and I am not saying you have to delete them all! Just import them to your computer and save them as memories, because it’s true – they are! But, having such easy contact with these photos are nothing but a bad idea. Looking at memories of when times were good and things weren’t messy often clouds our better judgement.

Second, if you find yourself having a difficult time resisting the urge to text them – it’s time to block. Don’t overthink it, you are doing this for yourself and your sanity.

My third tip would be to try and surround yourself with friends and continuously fill your schedule up so that you aren’t alone- at least for the first few weeks or so. I found that I felt great until I got home and went into my room where I truly felt alone with my own thoughts. Try to facetime friends and family, pick up a hobby, work work work! Anything to get your mind off of it.

Fourth tip, FIND YOURSELF. This is the time to really focus in on YOU. Who are you? Do you have hobbies? Do you like things that weren’t because of your partner? What are your morals? Do you have goals? It’s time to work on yourself and focus on bettering yourself and accomplishing your goals. Pick a goal and really put in the effort to accomplish it. Journal your thoughts and try to get to know yourself as best as you can. You are so important, when is a better time to get to know who you truly are than now?

My final tip would be to move on. Yep, easier said than done. Well, I don’t mean get into another relationship (please don’t do this) but don’t be afraid to put yourself out there and have some fun. It’s another way to distract yourself, while also having fun and meeting new people. Ever heard the phrase “get over by getting under”? It’s a phrase for a reason, I’m just saying.

Don’t be afraid to really confide in your friends and family, but get yourself out of that rut as fast as you can. You will be okay, this too shall pass.

*Header image is by @janina_73 via picsart

Categories
hobbies lifestyle mental health relationship

How to be a Better Partner

Thinking about your past relationships, it can be so easy to point out your ex-partner’s flaws and issues. They were the reason it all went to shit, right? They weren’t the best partner – they had their own issues. You hope that they fix them for their next relationship, whoever that poor sucker is. But wait – I said that is the easy way. It can be so easy to point those out, but we often don’t take very much time to truly look in the mirror and figure out how we can better ourselves and become better partners. Often, both partners in a relationship can point out the other’s flaws or issues but they fail to point out their own, or if they do – work to change it.

Taking a step back is the first and most important part of being a better partner. Listen to what your partner is saying or what was said, but do not get caught up in it. Try to weed out the actual issue that was at hand. Maybe your partner found that you were being too “bossy”? Or, you were on your phone too much? If things like that sprung up an argument, take it into consideration. For example, try not to be on your phone as much – make a point of putting your phone down during meals, while talking with people etc. The point is – take time to listen and work on the issue even if you didn’t think it was your issue at first. A relationship needs communication and compromise.

When getting into a new relationship – focus on your partner and keep in mind the things that went wrong in your other relationship but be very careful not to let it weigh you down or interfere with this current relationship. Starting over with someone new can feel like a fresh start! Don’t let your previous relationship ruin the excitement – but keep a few tid bits in the back of your head to potentially avoid future issues. It’s all about growth.

However, I think that the real solution to becoming a better partner is ultimately becoming a better person in general. Getting enough sleep, drinking enough water, eating healthier – these things are actually all very valid for ensuring a healthy relationship. Often, if a partner is lacking in any of these areas – it can make them more irritable, off balanced etc. essentially leading to petty arguments that might not have even happened if they felt balanced. Also, not to mention that mental health plays a massive role in all relationships including friendships. So, really take those steps to bettering your mental and physical health to become an overall better person.

Another good idea to help bring the fun back into the relationship is to do something new! If your relationship consists of Netflix and eating out, try taking a hike together or trying a new hobby like painting, biking, playing pool or cards. The point is – do more together and enjoy each other’s company. It doesn’t have to consist of a lot of money or travelling to a different country – even simple things like taking nightly walks together would be beneficial to your relationship.

If there are more serious issues that are reoccurring in your relationship, it could be a good idea to get counselling to root through the problems and get that spark flickering again. Love shouldn’t feel like a battle. Embrace each other – you are on the same team.

Categories
finance

10 Crucial Steps to Saving Money in Your 20’s

So, you’re 20 something years old and it’s really set in that it’s time to get your savings together. Saving money can be extremely hard for some, or most, but if you go about it the right way – you won’t even realize you’re putting money away!

  1. The first step to start saving is to develop a budget plan. I did mine in Excel because the spreadsheet makes it super easy and clean. But there are plenty of printables as well that look nicer, and you can print it out and hang it up in your room or on the fridge.
  2. Once your budget plan is complete, or near complete – you need to think about how much you’re going to set aside each month for savings depending on how much money is left over after expenses are taken out. A good start is to put around $100 a month away (or more if you can!) and also set up a “simply save” on your bank account. In my experience, TD Canada Trust has this feature and I’m sure other banks do as well. Essentially, every time you use your card – it will take a certain amount in a separate transaction and transfer it over. It can be as small as 50 cents, so you really don’t even notice you’re saving – but it adds up!
  3. The third step is to make money work for you. This can be done a few different ways such as investing into mutual funds, GICs etc. It is a good idea to talk to a financial advisor about these investments to ensure that you are getting the proper advice and care for your money.
  4. A bonus step would be to create another form of income other than your main source (your job), preferably passive income. Passive income is income that requires little to no effort to earn and maintain, which can come from rental properties (you own the property and rent it out to people), royalties such as writing your own book, partnerships etc.
  5. READ! Yes, that’s right. Read as many books as you can about money and financial advice/freedom. There are several books out there that have changed lives and they could potentially change yours as well! It is great to have knowledge, especially in your 20’s. Some good books to read that are also on Amazon are:
  • Broke Millennial by Erin Lowry – it is a great book for beginners who feel clueless about budgeting and getting out of debt. Also, this book is aimed at 20-30 year olds, which is different compared to some books that can be hard to read or interpret.
  • The Total Money Makeover by Dave Ramsey – this book is incredible and features his famous “seven baby steps” to building wealth and getting rid of debt. A must read!
  • Set for Life: Dominate Life, Money and the American Dream by Scott Trench – this book is built on debt and making choices and sacrifices in life for the greater good. This book is recommended for “younger people who want to live life on their own terms as quickly as they can.”
  • Rich Dad, Poor Dad by Robert Kiyosaki – this book will offer personal finance education to help you learn about cash flow, real estate, investing, how to start a business etc. It truly teaches you what kind of mindset you should have if you truly want to be rich/wealthy.

6. Something that has saved me more money than I thought it would is not buying coffee when I’m out, or even any fast food for that matter. Make coffee at home if you’re a coffee drinker – and grocery shop frugally. I found that downloading a price-matching app saved me even more money as well whenever I went out shopping!

7. Thrift shopping versus shopping fast fashion or “sales”. If you truly need new clothes, try thrifting. But, before you do – you should try and sell the clothes that you don’t need or don’t fit anymore. Consider selling them to the thrift store to get your new items for cheaper (but in my experience, I have made more money selling them by myself than giving them to the thrift store, it just takes a bit longer)

8. I have listed books above that are from amazon, but once the library becomes available again – use the library!!! I repeat. Use the library! FREE. BOOKS.

9. Pick up a second job or business. In my experience, I made relatively good money as a pizza delivery driver from tips. It was cash in my pocket at the end of every night, and you can save up and put it in a jar or the bank. A great second job to do on weekends or nights! You could even try delivering for Uber Eats or Skipthedishes if that interests you more, just do some research to see how much they pay etc.

10. Look at the things that you spend your money on. Do you get your nails done? Buy a bottle of nail polish and do your own nails at home – manicures are not essential. Do you get eyelash extensions? These can be pretty costly, it might be time to take a break for awhile. What about subscriptions? Take out any that are unnecessary that you can live without. I know that I used to have a FabFitFun box and an Ipsy bag, that I considered to be cheap subscriptions – but they add up and take away from your savings! If you truly want to save money and live a better life – you need to make sacrifices and act your wage. Buying things that you don’t need and that are too expensive to maintain can lead to even more debt and the wrong path towards success.

Overall, it’s a great idea to talk to a financial advisor. They will give you proper advice based on your situation and change it along the way. Happy saving! If you have any suggestions/questions, comment down below I’d love to see them!! Cheers to financial freedom.