Categories
mental health relationship

HOW TO GET OVER AN EX

So, you have finally pulled yourself apart from that toxic person in your life – or maybe things just weren’t meant to be, or perhaps both? Well, the rules are very similar when it comes to getting over an ex that you aren’t meant to be with and have both agreed to move on, and a toxic ex that you should avoid at all costs because they will make your life hell.

So the first thing that you need to do might be one of the most painful – the pictures. You gotta take them off your phone, and I am not saying you have to delete them all! Just import them to your computer and save them as memories, because it’s true – they are! But, having such easy contact with these photos are nothing but a bad idea. Looking at memories of when times were good and things weren’t messy often clouds our better judgement.

Second, if you find yourself having a difficult time resisting the urge to text them – it’s time to block. Don’t overthink it, you are doing this for yourself and your sanity.

My third tip would be to try and surround yourself with friends and continuously fill your schedule up so that you aren’t alone- at least for the first few weeks or so. I found that I felt great until I got home and went into my room where I truly felt alone with my own thoughts. Try to facetime friends and family, pick up a hobby, work work work! Anything to get your mind off of it.

Fourth tip, FIND YOURSELF. This is the time to really focus in on YOU. Who are you? Do you have hobbies? Do you like things that weren’t because of your partner? What are your morals? Do you have goals? It’s time to work on yourself and focus on bettering yourself and accomplishing your goals. Pick a goal and really put in the effort to accomplish it. Journal your thoughts and try to get to know yourself as best as you can. You are so important, when is a better time to get to know who you truly are than now?

My final tip would be to move on. Yep, easier said than done. Well, I don’t mean get into another relationship (please don’t do this) but don’t be afraid to put yourself out there and have some fun. It’s another way to distract yourself, while also having fun and meeting new people. Ever heard the phrase “get over by getting under”? It’s a phrase for a reason, I’m just saying.

Don’t be afraid to really confide in your friends and family, but get yourself out of that rut as fast as you can. You will be okay, this too shall pass.

*Header image is by @janina_73 via picsart

Categories
anxiety cbd CBD lifestyle mental health natural wellness

Let’s Talk CBD…

CBD is the new craze. With the legalization of marijuana in Canada, there has been a lot more information being released regarding the health benefits especially CBD. I was skeptical about trying CBD as I have diagnosed anxiety disorder and I have heard through the grapevine that CBD can work wonders for anxiety. So I took the leap.

I decided to trust a Canadian brand called Birch + Fog because they are so informative and open about their products, lab results, where they get their CBD from etc. Their website is extremely helpful if you are new to CBD (like me) and they explain it in a way that’s easy to understand and grasp without being confused about all the science etc. They also have an Instagram page where you can get the inside scoop on deals and if you have any questions they are really quick with responding via direct message!

So, why CBD? Why not just smoke weed? Well, CBD (cannabidiol) is an all-natural cannabis compound that provides all of the medicinal benefits of cannabis without the feeling of being “high”. For people like me, I don’t smoke because I get very paranoid and it actually heightens my anxiety. But, CBD provides a calming effect and I love the all-natural compounds compared to prescription medication such as pills etc that can give you a ton of rough side effects depending on which medication you’re on.

When choosing a method, it’s important to think about how fast you want it to take effect. Tinctures take around 20 minutes to take effect and are pretty discreet, but some people aren’t too keen on the taste. Edibles such as gummies can take up to 1-2 hours but this also depends and varies from person to person. Vape pens are almost immediate and take effect within minutes – this is my favourite method because it is so small, discreet, tastes fine and is easy to put in my purse for on the go. But, I have heard that tinctures can be so great and easy to use as well and most people will drop it in their coffee in the morning as some of the tinctures are pretty tasteless. Or, you can drop it under your tongue if you don’t have much time. I love that all of these methods aren’t harsh at all and are very quick and easy to use while also being convenient to take with you in your bag etc.

The most important part is to define what your needs are and the dosage you should be taking. It’s always a good idea to talk to your doctor or a health professional before getting started on a new form of medication, even if it is natural. They will help you decide which one is best for you and the correct dosage! I have heard the the tincture drops are best for before bed to aid with your sleep, especially if you are like me and have multiple nights that require over an hour just to fall asleep. Do your own research before committing to a product and read reviews.

Hopefully this helped a bit with understanding CBD and what you should look for. If you shop at Birch + Fog, you can use code 20SAM to get $20 off of any order of $50 or more, they always have ton of deals going on so keep an eye out and don’t hesitate to reach out to me via Instagram if you have any questions.

Stay well, my friends!

Categories
hobbies lifestyle mental health relationship

How to be a Better Partner

Thinking about your past relationships, it can be so easy to point out your ex-partner’s flaws and issues. They were the reason it all went to shit, right? They weren’t the best partner – they had their own issues. You hope that they fix them for their next relationship, whoever that poor sucker is. But wait – I said that is the easy way. It can be so easy to point those out, but we often don’t take very much time to truly look in the mirror and figure out how we can better ourselves and become better partners. Often, both partners in a relationship can point out the other’s flaws or issues but they fail to point out their own, or if they do – work to change it.

Taking a step back is the first and most important part of being a better partner. Listen to what your partner is saying or what was said, but do not get caught up in it. Try to weed out the actual issue that was at hand. Maybe your partner found that you were being too “bossy”? Or, you were on your phone too much? If things like that sprung up an argument, take it into consideration. For example, try not to be on your phone as much – make a point of putting your phone down during meals, while talking with people etc. The point is – take time to listen and work on the issue even if you didn’t think it was your issue at first. A relationship needs communication and compromise.

When getting into a new relationship – focus on your partner and keep in mind the things that went wrong in your other relationship but be very careful not to let it weigh you down or interfere with this current relationship. Starting over with someone new can feel like a fresh start! Don’t let your previous relationship ruin the excitement – but keep a few tid bits in the back of your head to potentially avoid future issues. It’s all about growth.

However, I think that the real solution to becoming a better partner is ultimately becoming a better person in general. Getting enough sleep, drinking enough water, eating healthier – these things are actually all very valid for ensuring a healthy relationship. Often, if a partner is lacking in any of these areas – it can make them more irritable, off balanced etc. essentially leading to petty arguments that might not have even happened if they felt balanced. Also, not to mention that mental health plays a massive role in all relationships including friendships. So, really take those steps to bettering your mental and physical health to become an overall better person.

Another good idea to help bring the fun back into the relationship is to do something new! If your relationship consists of Netflix and eating out, try taking a hike together or trying a new hobby like painting, biking, playing pool or cards. The point is – do more together and enjoy each other’s company. It doesn’t have to consist of a lot of money or travelling to a different country – even simple things like taking nightly walks together would be beneficial to your relationship.

If there are more serious issues that are reoccurring in your relationship, it could be a good idea to get counselling to root through the problems and get that spark flickering again. Love shouldn’t feel like a battle. Embrace each other – you are on the same team.

Categories
lifestyle mental health

Live a Better Life

Yeah, yeah. We have all heard it. “Live your best life!” or “How to be a Better Person!” but have we truly looked within and TRIED? And I mean, TRY.

During this time, I started off very motivated and ready to hit my goals because of all the time I had suddenly obtained. However, I fell off and slipped into an unhealthy comfort zone. I stopped working out, I was on my phone and laptop 90% of the day, I wasn’t drinking enough water or feeding myself properly, and definitely wasn’t sleeping properly either. Sometimes I would stay in bed almost all day long, creating back pain and growing depression.

Sylvester McNutt via Pinterest

But, I started thinking to myself, “what the hell am I doing with my life?” and it just kind of clicked, after about 4-5 times of thinking that same thought. Finally, I decided it’s okay to lounge sometimes but I need to be productive and take care of myself. The best way to live a better life is to create your better self. The person you want to become, it might seem like a long way to go but it’s actually quicker than it seems.

After deciding to kick my butt into gear and start my daily exercising and yoga (newbie here!!), I decided that it was also time to nourish my body. I love making smoothies so I would try and make a smoothie after every workout to fuel my body and give it protein and energy. Exercise and diet is the most important part of all of this, but what fuels that is MINDSET. Boy oh boy, my pinterest brain was tingling when I decided to search up some quotes to motivate me. I created an entire board of motivational and inspirational quotes that revolve around becoming the best version of myself, self care & self love and the keys to success. It is all about the mindset, ladies and gentlemen.

This blog isn’t necessarily a step by step guide, but more of a tool to help fuel your motivation. My grandfather always reminded me, “If it’s gotta be, it’s up to me!” and I live by that.

What are some strategies you do to live a better life and become the best version of yourself?

If you’d like some inspo, follow my pinterest here – I have absolutely loaded it with valuable content! 💛

Categories
anxiety mental health

10 Tips for Coping With Anxiety

Have you ever felt like your brain was becoming more and more tense by the second? Racing with thoughts, unable to concentrate on tasks, conversations, work… It’s a daily struggle for many people, including me. I have struggled with my anxiety for years, even before I knew what it was. I just thought it was completely normal, that everyone gets outbursts sometimes, everyone cries over minor things, everyone is unable to control their thoughts and worries…This happened to everyone and so I shouldn’t think anything of it. Wrong. It got too much, to a point where I couldn’t take it and I finally seeked help from my doctor. But, if you’re like me – medication doesn’t always do the trick and it can also take a very long time for it to even start working effectively. I have some key coping mechanisms that have helped me get through my days and also get through anxiety attacks that I feel coming on.

  1. The most important tip to remember is that your mind needs balance. How is your mind supposed to be balanced if the rest of your body isn’t? It’s time to start eating balanced and healthier meals. Eat regular meals and ensure you are taking in lots of water.
  2. Limit caffeine. I know this one is a total bummer especially for coffee lovers, and I still have a hard time with this too. But, instead of completely cutting it out – try to start with reducing your intake. If you drink 3 coffees per day, try 2. Caffeine is known to often aggravate anxiety and trigger anxiety/panic attacks.
  3. If you feel an anxiety attack coming on, take a seat, and breathe deeply and slowly. I follow a breathing rule inhaling deeply for 10 seconds and then slowly exhaling for 10 seconds then repeating if necessary. It usually takes me a few times before I start to truly calm myself.
  4. Change your focus. If you feel yourself getting irritable, uneasy, anxious etc. try to change your focus to something else. Watch a TV show, read a book, try exercising (which although can be hard to get yourself up and going, is very effective!!!)
  5. Painting or drawing (if you like to), can help ease the mind and enable your mind to focus on the act of painting, the colours, and how soothing it can be.
  6. Journal out your thoughts. Whenever I felt extremely overwhelmed, I would capture those thoughts and put them into poems – it’s actually where my best work came from. It’s a great way to relieve and unload your mind.
  7. Recognize the signs. Everyone is different which means the signs could be totally different. But, recognizing the signs before an anxiety attack can truly help you to be proactive by preventing an attack, calming down before it gets too much and noticing the signs way earlier.
  8. Stay in regular contact with friends and family, especially those who are close to you. Surround yourself with people you can open up to and talk with. Loneliness and isolation can be very hard on your mental health, especially anxiety and depression.
  9. Don’t be afraid to ask for help. Therapy is becoming less and less stigmatized and is often talked about as being important even if you don’t have anxiety or depression. It can be helpful for everyday life, to enhance it and allow you to truly live your best, mentally. The truth is, you have to allow yourself to get the help you deserve and to talk about what is going on, even if it’s hard to explain.
  10. The last tip is one that I just learned recently, and it may sound silly but it works. When you are feeling anxious, grab an ice cube from your freezer and squeeze it in your hand. The coldness immediately takes your mind off of any anxious thoughts, because it is focused on the cold shock in your hands. If you don’t have ice cubes, try cold water!

It is important to take time for yourself. Your mental state is incredibly precious and self-care goes a long way. The trick is to check in with yourself every so often, ask yourself either in your head or aloud – how am I feeling? If you feel off, proceed to ask yourself what you need at the moment. Maybe it’s as simple as a tight hug or it could be more complex and having a reoccurring issue finally be solved – whatever it is, you are capable of controlling your own thoughts and feelings. We are so strong and life can throw some heavy stuff at us, but we rise up and keep on. Isn’t that amazing?

Categories
mental health Uncategorized

IT IS OKAY TO FEEL UNEASY IN TIMES OF UNCERTAINTY

This whole pandemic has not only set off a whole realm of loneliness for a lot of people, but also a lot of anxiety and uncertainty. If you find yourself unsure of what to do with your life, unable to sleep or sleeping too much, feeling restless – IT IS OKAY. A lot of us have been go-go-go with our jobs, family, relationships, school, side hustles etc. It is totally okay to feel uneasy with how the world is right now. It is not easy for anyone. One of the good things about this isolation period is that the whole world is doing the same thing. Most of us are laid off, at home, unable to see relatives or friends, unable to do our usual routine. It is extremely probable that the pandemic has caused people increasing anxiety, and for people diagnosed with anxiety already – a pretty hard time. “People often don’t realize that their difficulties with focus, memory, sleep and relationships can all be related to anxiety,” says Amelia Aldao, clinical psychologist and founder of Together CBT in New York City. I am here to tell you IT IS OKAY.

So, let’s take a deep breath for a moment. This pandemic is probably going to last a bit longer than we all would like it to and what we need to do is come up with a new routine. Or, if you’re not into routine – just different things to do throughout the day to ensure that we don’t get tangled in all of that anxiety and stir-craziness.

  1. The first thing to do is to limit the amount of news you watch. I know it is a horrific time and that is all that is blasted everywhere, but limiting this is truly what will be best for your own sake and mental health. I am not telling you to completely block it out and act like nothing is wrong, but to limit the amount you watch/read.
  2. Continue with a SCHEDULE/ROUTINE. If you are someone who is normally structured and organized, don’t think of this time as a free-for-all. Keeping a steady schedule despite the circumstances will ensure that you are staying sane and busy.
  3. Which adds to my next point, KEEP BUSY. This can be done in an unlimited amount of ways. Take a bath, journal, draw, paint, garden, work-out, watch movies, get started on a new tv series, read a book or two or three!!!, call up a friend etc.
  4. Wake up and go to bed at your normal time. This one has honestly been one of the hardest ones for me. My sleeping schedule has been out of whack and that causes me so much stress because if I go to bed late, I typically wake up late and then I’m upset that I wasted ___ # of hours of the day. Wake up early still and go to bed at a reasonable time!
  5. If you work from home – try not to overload. With this stress and anxiety, it can become overwhelming and chances are your memory and work ethic is not what it was. Break up tasks, give yourself breaks, drink lots of water and feed yourself properly.
  6. Which goes again, feed yourself properly. I know that because the routine is off, sometimes we may forget to make breakfast or lunch, or maybe just hydrate properly. Try to truly make an effort to nourish your body and eat properly (bonus if it’s healthy!)
  7. Pick up a new skill/hobby. When is the last time you painted? What about gardening? Working out? Is there a task that you’ve been putting off such as painting the basement, redoing the deck? Take this time to do the things that you weren’t planning on doing before while you have the time.
  8. Check up on friends and family. Although you may not be able to go and visit, or maybe you can if you stay 6 feet apart (do not come for me if they change this rule!!!) A simple facetime call can help to stay connected while also checking up on your loved ones. We all need checking up on, especially if we are struggling through this. Take a few minutes and call that person (or multiple people), they will really enjoy your company.
  9. YouTube. I have been catching up on some of my favourite YouTubers lately and I am really enjoying it – especially because there are a lot of them who have decided to post daily vlogs, which gets me excited to watch and gives me something to do every day. Or, if you’re feeling creative – make your own YouTube channel and get recording!
  10. Get yourself ready. I have found that whenever I get out of bed, take a nice shower and do my hair/makeup – I feel way better. I feel like “hey, at least I did that today!”
  11. Take some online courses. Ever heard of Shaw Academy? They have a variety of online classes that you can take that range from marketing, social media and graphic design to beauty, music, finance, photography and more! They are doing a free trial and then if you’d like to continue afterwards it’s $69.99 CAD. It’s interactive, they have Q&A sessions, quizzes, assignments, and unlimited access to all of their courses – so if you wanted to take photography and finance, you can totally do that. Also, this is not an ad, I just really enjoyed their platform. Of course, there are many other platforms that do relatively the same stuff for online courses.

Stay safe, healthy & sane everyone.

Ps. Quick reminder to follow my blog to stay updated on new posts and also wash your hands 🙂

Categories
mental health

Take Care of Yourself

I think that it’s in most peoples minds that the world feels like it’s closing down. When you walk down the street of once-busy downtown Toronto, you will find it feeling very eerie. The roads are near empty, the sidewalks too. Everyone is at home, self isolating themselves from this horrendous virus that has changed our lives globally.

At first, when I saw the news, sitting at home eating a big bowl of spaghetti surrounded by family, I thought to myself, “it won’t come here, though…” and I changed the channel. It is crazy how things change and how fast a virus can spread. My heart goes out to China and Italy, who have experienced the worst of it. This virus is no joke and nothing to change the channel about. I didn’t realize it could get this bad, to the point of closing shops, malls and banks. Taking a trip to the grocery store feels as if we are all gatherers, trying to find things that will keep our family healthy and able to live throughout this isolation, I mean, who knows how long it will be. The shelves are bare, toilet paper, soup, cold/flu medication, any form of sanitizer, it’s all out of stock. The people who need it most, the elderly can’t even get any of it – the grocery stores have had to restock and restock, opening up an hour early just for the elderly and disabled to come in a have a chance at getting some necessities. The world is in true panic.

Sitting at home, unable to visit my parents and sister in fear that they will somehow get the virus or if they have the virus – give it to me. I have no idea if I am a carrier of this virus, I show no symptoms – but there have been many positive cases with the same thing. The fear has truly set in for me, but I have been trying to really take the time I have to practice self-care and truly take care of myself during this time. I know that in times of panic, fear and isolation it can often result in problems with mental health including depression and I want to make sure that I am giving myself the proper care to avoid that. I’ve been trying to make sure I don’t start eating a bunch of junk just because I am home all day, which can be very tempting because of boredom. I also have gotten into some at-home workouts which fills some time and makes me feel really good. But, my go-to activity is YouTube and Netflix. My favourite youtubers Julie & Hunter Havens have been putting out daily vlogs and it’s really neat to see how they are being productive and going about their day throughout this whole fiasco.

I hope that everyone is staying indoors, safe, healthy and mentally well. I know this is going to be a bit hard for some people to self-isolate and being home majority of the time, but this can also be a great time to pick up a new hobby or skill. I’ve been trying to read more and I see some people are picking up painting, drawing etc. Which is also a really great idea. All in all, find what works for you and makes you happy. Try not to sleep too much and try to be productive through these next few weeks.

Well wishes xo